The Affair
by TwilightTundra
Summary: One shot, RinoaxSquall crack fanfiction. Squall tries something new with Rinoa to spice up their sex life. Mentioning of SeiferxSquall Warnings: Fairly graphic sexual content, but not real explicit or anything.


**Copyright: **Final Fantasy VIII and its character don't belong to me. They belong to Squaresoft.

**Why the did I do this?** It was a prompt for a meme where people ask you to write shit you are bad at. lol  
**Warnings:** Smut. Like graphic smut. Even scarier, a first time graphic smut writer. BE SCARED. Oh and crack.

It had all begun in the Balamb Garden's lunch hall, Squall sitting alone stoically looking over paper-work and picking at his meal here and there. After becoming commander, it was paperwork, phone calls, Rinoa nagging, more paper work, and, of course, more of Rinoa's fucking complaining.

'_To be fair, she is trapped here in Garden for the rest of her life. Some days, I can see the light fading from her eyes.'_

Squall thought, silently remembering the first attempt on Rinoa's life, then the second, and then the eventual decision that the only way to keep Rinoa's life and the power trapped inside her in-tact was to put the potent sorceress under constant SEED protection, just like his sister Ellone had once been for so many years.

At first, Rinoa was her normal cheeky self, saying "as long as I have you, Squally, I don't need anything else." Not surprisingly, in a few months, Rinoa was whining about how she couldn't shop herself, and ordering her fashions by mail brought her little delight.

Next went the evaporation of her social life. Her friends and the forest owls visited Garden a few times a month at the beginning, much to Rinoa's glee, but gradually they stopped coming altogether. Even her father called in rather then make the trip to see his one and only daughter.

As the two years went by, Rinoa started experiencing bouts of severe depression, begging to be put to rest in the sorceress memorial. Yes, things had gotten rocky, to say the least. Squall sometimes feared his girlfriend was slowly losing her mind. He knew if she didn't have him to lean on, complain to, she would fall apart.

Deflecting the gunblade master's thoughts, Zu and her lover sat at the table diagonal to him. He simply nodded appropriately, to ensure he wasn't being rude, a quality Cid insisted was unfit for a SEED commander, and went back to his work, but within ten minutes he found their conversations impossible to ignore.

It probably wasn't something he was meant to hear, since they were talking quietly, and the two women probably assumed Squall was far too busy and indifferent to give a Chocobo's shit about their social lives. Usually, that would have been accurate.

However, the old saying "When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me," held strong. As soon as Xu mentioned a device called a "strap on" and how it was doing wonders for their sex life, Squall tuned in. He became highly curious, but said nothing. Sex with Rinoa had gotten routine, boring, and pretty much just a chore, like taking out the trash, so he made an oath to look into this strap-on thing the two young SEED instructors were so giddy about.

That night in his office, Squall Leonhart did just that. He had a fairly good idea of what it was based on what it was called. As he looked upon the different models, he sat there stunned, as if he were brain damaged, but then he began to imagine what it might feel like inside him, and how it could even give Rinoa a thrill. She certainly loved yelling at her "beloved" boyfriend until her voice gave out. Getting a chance to let her "squally-poo" be her bitch for the night sounded right up her alley. He did consider it odd to desire such a thing, so he researched, and found that it wasn't too uncommon for couples to use them. In the end he whispered "whatever" and clicked the buy button on "Esthar's ultimate pleasure 3 strap-on vibrator."

A few days later, it arrived in his private mailbox, and he prepared for a night with Rinoa after the last of his expel and suspension paperwork were filled out.

Luckily, Almasy wasn't on the list. Squall had bent over backwards to get that idiot another chance, despite his age and past dumbfuck choices. So far, it was paying off, but the brunette youth still had a sinking feeling the blond would pull some asinine prank and end up in his office, embarrassing the both of them.

After a few hours, he called up Rinoa and told her he had something special planned tonight.

"What is it? What is it? Wha—" Rinoa squealed over the telephone like a little five year old.

"You'll just have wait and see for yourself. I'll be there soon. Bye," Squall cut her off and hung up.

The phone continued to ring as he prepared to call it a night. He ignored the endless ringing, figuring Rinoa was just being her childish self. Once he signed the last of his documents and put them in out-goming to Cid, Squall left for their room.

Once he arrived, she ran over to him instantly, wearing a long silky blue robe tied around her skinny waste. She clutched the package he was carrying before he had time to stop her. The sorceress ran over to the bed, sat cross legged and tore it open franticly.

"Rin, I was planning on opening it together so I could expla—"

"What in the name of Hyne! Squall, this is one of those strap on thingies that dikes use! Are you having problems with your winky willy? You shouldn't with me around. I mean LOOK at me."

Squall squeezed his temple in frustration, all too familiar with Rinoa's idiocy. Good thing Zu wasn't here to hear the word "dike" escape Rinoa's lips, otherwise hair would be ripped out.

"My 'penis' works just fine, Rinoa. It's not for me to wear…it's for you to wear and use on me."

"EWWWWW, I'd have to like stick that up your butt?" Rinoa screeched, causing Angelo to bark furiously where he was confined in the bathroom. This was not the reaction Squall was hoping for. He sighed.

"It's not that uncommon. I researched it. Let's just try and see how it goes."

Rinoa's face scrunched up in disgust as she spoke, "No way, that's totally queer, Squall!"

Angelo's howling got even louder and the two bickered. Eventually, Rinoa proclaimed she needed a walk to get some fresh air.

"Whatever, but take that damn dog with you," he replied thoroughly irritated and worried about who Rinoa might blabber off to during her "walk." There was nothing he could do about it now though, because she was already out the door, Angelo following and growling back at Squall.

"Fucking mutt."

The commander muttered insults at both of his roommates as he hit the nightstand in aggravation. All the shit he puts up being with her, and this is how she repays him; by freaking out over every little thing. The woman was just far too naïve and sheltered for her own damn good.

Half an hour passed and Squall was getting ready to go to sleep without her, until he heard the sound of keys and the door opening.

'_Just great…she's back already'_

To his astonishment, she looked very apologetic, a rare occurrence indeed. She walked over to Squall's bedside. "Squall, I'm sorry for how I acted…I really am. I'm just so angry about everything these days and being stuck in this place. I end up taking it out on you, I know."

A tear rolled down her cheek, but she quickly whisked it away while Squall pondered what to say next.

"It's alright. Let's just forget it ever happened and go to bed," he stated bluntly.

"No! I want to try it! I had some time to think it over and now it sounds fun," she chuckled. This was the kind of rapid personality change Squall was really starting to worry about, though there was really no denying Rinoa after she makes up her mind.

"Fine, I'll get undressed. You put it on."

"Ok!" She grabbed the device and started to fumble with the belts.

Within in minutes Squall had disposed of all his clothing, placing it neatly on the night stand. Rinoa, however, was still struggling to get the strap on property. He watched her, amused.

"Well, don't just look, you meanie! Get over here and help me, mr belt expert!"

Squall showed just a hint of a smile and went her direction. Carefully, he tightened the sex toy on just right, and Rinoa was ready to go; only she really wasn't. The young woman examined the device thoroughly, even going as far as pushing the vibrate button to watch the phallic end shake. Then she looked up at Squall questioningly.

'Wait, how am I supposed to get off with this thing on? This isn't fair, Squally-poo! I'm not going to do it," she whined, sticking her tongue out at her beautifully sculptured partner.

Squall scratched his head for a second until he figured out what would satisfy her enough to cooperate.

"I'll eat you out afterwards until you come all you want, now will put some of this on?"

Squall squirted a little in his hand and then tossed the tube of lubricant to Rinoa, who was smiling like it was Christmas morning and Santa had came and made her a normal girl again at the mere thought of Squall's talented tongue licking and sucking around her clit.

Squall rubbed a generous amount of lube around his opening and waited for Rinoa to do what she was told. No such luck.

'RIN, snap out of it!"

"O-oh right, tee hee.

She quickly saturated the vibrator portion and joined Squall on the bed. Squall was arranging some pillows to lie down on in order lift his buttocks slightly to give Rinoa better access.

"S-so how should I do this Squally?" She asked meekly.

"Just slowly ease it in, and then push the button."

Squall wasn't overly concerned. The width and length were probably below average. He was careful not to purchase something gigantic.

Rinoa took it by the hand and guided to the opening of Squall's anus. Apprehensively, she gradually pushed forward. Squall bit his hand, careful not to make a sound or else Rinoa would lose her will to continue.

Shaped like a real penis, the tip was the most difficult and painful to direct in, but once it was past that tight ring the rest slipped in rapidly, shocking Rinoa half to death. Squall finally whimpered at the suddenness.

"SQUALL, oh my, are you okay? Does it hurt a lot? Should I take it back out?"

She was about to before Squall spoke up, "I-I'm fine, just give me a second to adjust.'

Rinoa remained silent as Squall breathed in and out rhythmically to relax his body.

"Alright, turn it on vibrate."

Again, Rinoa did as she was told, too baffled to really think of anything else to say. For Squall, it was an odd sensation. Yes, it hurt, like a burning pain, but it was dulling as time passed, and the vibrations were causing his penis to harden at the same time.

"So should I just stay like this?" Rinoa finally inquired, getting a bit impatient.

"No, you can start moving in and out, and try different angles if you can."

"Okie dokie."

Rinoa made her first thrust as Squall grunted, not really feeling any pleasure yet. He still signaled her to continue, because they had already gotten this far.

'_I might as well have her carry on. The pain is nothing I can't handle,' Squall thought, remembering how Seifer under the influence of that whore of a sorceress electrocuted him for hours. 'This was a joke compared to that.'_

The dark haired woman started becoming more creative with her thrusts. As it turned out, seeing Squall below her grunting was a major turn on. She was finally having fun and letting lose.

Abruptly, Squall let out a loud moan.

"There! Keep doing that."

She followed his instructions and maintained that angle and speed. Squall just kept moaning incoherently, as if he were trying to get a word out.. As he got closer to climax, he started to pump his cock.

Within a minute the pillows and sheet below were soiled with Squall's semen. Rinoa didn't notice, having far too much fun thrusting. Before long, Squall's prostate was so sensitive to the touch that her intrusions became painful.

"Enough, enough, I already came!"

She paused her antics, lifting a finger to her lip and smirking evilly, " Aww, just a little bit longer Squall, pretty pppppllllleeeaaassee, with sugar on—"

"NO."

Squall dashed forward disconnecting them finally. Laying flat on his back, he closed his eyes and started to unwind and recuperate from that intense orgasm.

Rinoa didn't notice he was falling asleep on her; she was too busy undoing the belts. When her single neuron fired, she was able to throw the toy to the ground and focus back on Squall, who was now asleep.

Rinoa stomped her foot in anger, picked the strap-on back up and threw it at Squall. It hit the target: Squalls head. He jolted up instantly, trying to reason what just happened, and then he saw the object in question.

"Rinoa, what the hell?"

"You promised to go down on me after, remember? Get to it. Fair is fair!"

"Whatever, you enjoyed pounding me into the mattress, I think that's enough. Good night."

Rinoa Heartily would not take that for an answer. She picked up one of the dirty pillows and smacked Squall in the face, splashing some minimal amounts of cum on his cheek.

Squall finally gave in and motioned her to lie down. She ecstatically complied, jumping on the bed. Squall removed her underwear with ease. If there was one thing good about oral with Rinoa, it was she was always clean, trimmed, and the odor was minimal

He teased her labia minors for awhile and once her clitoris budged out just the slightest he instantaneously besieged it with his tongue aiming to get this over with as soon as possible. Rinoa moaned and stretched out parts of her body as she came closer and closer to losing it and she did. Her hearing dulled, bright spots of light scattered across her vision, and nothing else in the world mattered at that moment.

Squall took the opportunity to clean himself up in the bathroom and brush his teeth. When he came out of the shower, Rinoa was dead asleep with a silly grin plastered on her face. When all was said and done, the night went well. He hadn't seen her _really_ enjoy sex in months.

Squall went into deep thought about the past, until his cell phone rang. He grabbed it and ran to the bathroom shutting the door, careful not to awaken RInioa.

'_Who in the hell would be calling at this hour?'_

Squall read the name on the screen. It was "Sir Knight Asshole."

'_Damn, it's Seifer. I guess I have to answer. I know him too well. He'll just call and call and call. Shit.'_

Squall pushed answer and blurted, "Seifer, what in the hell do you want? It's 1 am in the morning!"

"Weeellll, I heard from a little birdie…okay actually a friend of a friend of that little birdie that you like it reallllll kinky," the boisterous voice taunted from the other end.

Squall gritted his death, cursing Rinoa with every fiber of his being. Just how many people did she tell!

"Who told YOU?"

"Oh don't worry so much, puberty boy, it was no one who would tell the whole Garden, but hell, I think I just might! Hahaha!"

Squall glared even fiercer.

"If you do, I swear on my sister's life that I'll have you expelled and thrown off Balamb bare-naked, asshole!

"Whoa, whoa calm down. I was just kidding! I'm a good boy now, remember? Minus when I dumped those ten buckets of rotten hot dogs in Chicken Wuss' super secret room."

"Seifer what do you want…"

"It depends. Is Rinoa asleep?"

"Yes…why?"

"Because you need to sneak over to my dorm while she's out."

"WHY?"

"So I can show you a "real" gundblade. Heh."

"Fuck you Seifer! It's not like that, you perverted jackass."

"Ha, I know one when I see one Squally, and I've seen this one for years. Come over."

"Hell no, and don't call me again!"

"Suit yourself, Commander stick-up-his-ass. If you change your mind, you know where to find me."

Before, Squall could counter, Seifer hung up laughing.

After that call, Squall paced around the bathroom for an hour until he threw out any dignity he had left, got dressed, and left toward a familiar dorm room number.

And that's how Squall Leonhart started an affair that would blow up years later to the point of Rinoa having a mental break down and disappearing forever, leaving only a single note behind.

Its contents: _"We will meet again Squall. Someday….maybe even in another time. Ha…ha..hahahaHAHAHAHA!_

**Endnote**: Read and Review if you wish. Lol Though it was supposed to be crack and OCC for the most part.


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